How to keep your legal costs down, according to a family lawyer
You can keep divorce legal costs down by getting legal advice early and before you agree to anything. It also helps to use your lawyer for legal work rather than emotional support, send one organised email instead of many, follow the advice you pay for, and weigh every dispute against what it will cost to fight.
That's the short answer from Perth family lawyer Ella Hickman, who joined me on the Divorce With Carolyn podcast. The longer answer is below.
Key takeaways
Family law costs vary widely. Ella has seen matters wrapped up for about $3000 and others that cost clients $200,000.
Using your lawyer as a counsellor and sending lots of small emails are two of the most common ways bills grow.
Ignoring your lawyer's advice can cost you twice – your own legal fees, and possibly a costs order to pay your ex's.
You don't have to hand over your whole matter. Many lawyers can help with specific parts, such as court documents or mediation.
Getting advice before you agree to anything with your ex protects you from committing to a number that's too low, or too high.
Chasing a "fair" percentage can cost more in legal fees than the difference you're fighting over.
If your ex is using the court process to drive up your costs, the court has powers to step in.
Why the cost of legal help stops so many women getting it
When I separated, I spent about a year telling myself I couldn't afford a lawyer, so I didn't get one. I now see that as a false economy. A lawyer would have secured financial support for my children much sooner.
The cost of legal help comes up more than almost anything else when I talk to women about separation. So I asked Ella, a family lawyer at Hickman Family Lawyers in Perth, to talk me through where the money goes and how to keep more of it.
What I appreciate about Ella is how upfront she is. As she put it: "the only person who stands to make a lot of money out of you going and having a big fight in the family court is me."
Ella has also been through a divorce herself, so she knows how it feels from the client's side of the desk.
How much does a family lawyer cost in Australia?
There's no fixed figure, and Ella doesn't pretend otherwise.
"I've had clients be able to wrap everything up for three thousand dollars … and I've had clients who spend two hundred thousand dollars."
Lawyers in Australia have strict obligations to tell you what your legal costs are likely to be. What makes the final figure hard to predict is everything neither of you can control at the start – how your ex responds, whether issues come up along the way, and whether the matter heads straight to a hearing.
"Every complicated legal question is more money. Every time you need to get a barrister or something unexpected happens, usually that means there's more money."
For a financial matter, Ella often frames the cost as a share of the asset pool. If each of you spends $100,000 on legal fees from a $1 million pool, you've lost 20% of everything you're dividing.
What runs up your legal bill?
Using your lawyer as a counsellor
"Using your lawyer like a psychologist, that's not our job. We're not trained to do that."
Separation is emotional, and your lawyer will always be dealing with the things that matter most to you – your children, your home, your relationship. If you find yourself contacting your lawyer about the emotional side more than the legal side, a psychologist or counsellor is better placed to help, at a lower hourly rate. Ella suggests asking your GP about a mental health care plan.
She also addressed a common fear – that seeing a psychologist could be used against you in court. "I don't think I've ever seen the family court be critical of someone for going to get help with … their mental health, after a separation."
Sending lots of small emails
Every email your lawyer reads and responds to is billed. Three emails in two days about separate thoughts costs more than one email covering all three.
Ella's suggestion: "If you feel like you need to email me a lot, keep a running email going throughout the week, have a look at the end of the week, see what's still important, what might not be important, and then send me one email."
Not following the advice you're paying for
If your lawyer tells you an application is unlikely to succeed, pushing ahead can cost you twice. You pay your own lawyer to run it, and if the application has no proper basis, the court can order you to pay the other side's costs too.
"You might end up paying for your ex's lawyer as well, which you would hate."
What if your ex is trying to drive up your costs?
Some people use the legal process itself to wear the other person down – bombarding lawyers with emails, or filing application after application. Each one costs money to respond to and takes a heavy emotional toll.
Ella explained two tools that can help:
Limits on contact. A court can restrain a party from contacting your lawyers more than a set number of times, such as once a week.
Harmful proceedings orders. Since 6 May 2024, courts can make orders preventing a party from filing further applications without first getting the court's permission. If the court doesn't accept the application, you may never need to see it or respond to it.
If this is happening to you, talk to your lawyer about whether either option fits your situation.
Where to spend your money if you don't have much
You don't have to sign up for a lawyer to run your entire matter. Ella pointed to two places where a limited budget tends to go furthest.
Your first court documents
If a court application looks necessary, paying a lawyer to draft your initial documents helps make sure your case is put properly from the start. The orders you ask for at the beginning often stay much the same throughout, and a well-drafted affidavit keeps the material relevant, concise and free of anything that could work against you.
Ella has had clients use her firm to prepare trial material, then represent themselves at the trial.
Lawyer-assisted mediation
Ella calls lawyer-assisted mediation an underestimated place to put your money. "I actually think it's like a really commercial and quite a practical process."
Even when mediation doesn't settle on the day, it often moves things forward. My own mediation didn't end in agreement, but we reached one in the weeks that followed. Ella sees the same pattern – the offers made late in the day are often where matters land.
Free and low-cost options
Every state and territory has a legal aid commission and community legal centres, and there are women's legal services in each state. Most are means-tested, but a search for your area can turn up free or low-cost help.
How to prepare for your first appointment with a family lawyer
The better prepared you are, the less of your appointment you spend paying someone to gather basic information. We have resources in our toolkit Before You Agree To Anything that helps you to take stock and prepare for your first lawyer meeting.
For parenting matters, bring:
any parenting plans or court orders already in place
your thoughts on school, travel, special occasions and how you'll each communicate with doctors and teachers
what's working now, and what you'd like to change
For property matters, bring:
a list of assets and debts – the house, cars, super, bank accounts, loans and credit cards
anything you know exists but don't have details for, such as an investment property
if you want to keep the house, notes from a conversation with a broker or your bank about your borrowing capacity
Ballpark figures are fine at this stage.
Why get advice before you agree to anything?
Ella's clearest warning was this: "Try not to reach an agreement with your ex before you've had a conversation."
An early agreement isn't binding, and a lawyer can help unpick it. What's harder to shift is your ex's expectations. Once someone has a number in their head and has planned around it, moving them takes time and money.
"Forewarned is forearmed," she says. One appointment gives you a sense of the range you're working within, so you don't lock yourself into a position that's too low – or unrealistically high.
This is also why it helps to take your time. "Don't let someone else's urgency be your urgency." The more financially secure partner may be keen to finalise quickly. That's their timeline, not yours.
Consent orders do go before a court, which has to be satisfied the arrangement is just and equitable. Ella calls this a safety net, but not one to rely on – a court can approve orders that are still well short of what you might have received.
When does chasing "fair" cost more than you would gain?
Fair matters. But fighting for it has a price, and Ella encourages clients to look at that price commercially.
If the gap between your offer and your ex's is $80,000, and a trial would cost each of you $90,000 to $100,000 – all of it coming out of the same asset pool – settling or making a small counter-offer may leave you better off. "Knowing that maybe you'd get a bit more if you go to court, but at what cost? Like is it commercial?"
Percentages are a guide, not a guarantee. No lawyer can say with certainty exactly where a court will land, and in court, a judge who has never met your family makes the call.
Then there's the cost that doesn't appear on an invoice. Ella has had clients say at the end: "it wasn't even the money Ella, it's this like four years of my life that I cannot get back."
I know this trade-off from my own divorce. A dispute over our home's valuation meant a second valuation, which came in much lower – and it stood. At some point I decided I wanted to move on and have a good life more than I wanted to keep fighting.
Keeping the focus on your children
For parents, conflict in the family court doesn't stay in the courtroom. Children feel it. Ella shared the line she gives her clients: "you need to love your kids more than you hate your ex."
Her test before sending a message you might regret: picture it attached to an affidavit and read by a family court judge.
Listen to the full conversation
Ella and I cover much more in the episode, including what she did differently in her own divorce as a family lawyer. Listen to the full episode of Divorce With Carolyn below.
Frequently asked questions
How can I reduce my legal fees in a divorce?
Get advice early, before agreeing to anything. Batch your questions into one email, use a counsellor or psychologist for emotional support, have your documents ready, and follow your lawyer's advice about which applications are likely to succeed.
Can I use a family lawyer for only part of my matter?
Yes. Many family lawyers offer limited help – for example, preparing court documents or attending mediation – while you handle other parts yourself.
Can I get free legal help for family law in Australia?
Legal aid commissions, community legal centres and women's legal services offer free or low-cost help in every state and territory. Most services are means-tested.
What is a harmful proceedings order?
It's an order that stops a party from filing further applications without the court's permission. Courts have been able to make these orders since 6 May 2024 to prevent litigation that causes harm to the other party or a child.
Is it better to settle or go to court over a property settlement?
It depends on the gap between the offers, the size of the asset pool and what a trial would cost. A family lawyer can help you weigh the likely outcome against the legal fees and time involved.
Is family law different in Western Australia?
Western Australia has its own Family Court, the Family Court of Western Australia. Some processes differ from the rest of the country, so check with a WA family lawyer for your situation.
