Can't afford to leave? What it costs in 2026, and where to start
Leaving a relationship means funding a second household before a single ongoing bill arrives – bond, rent up front, a removal truck, somewhere to stay. One 2026 costing puts that at $7017.
If you've done the sums at the kitchen table and the answer was no, you're reading a real number, not failing a test of courage. Here's what it costs, what free help exists, and the first step you can take tonight.
Key takeaways
Setting up a second household costs thousands before ongoing expenses begin. Anglicare Sydney costed the basics at $7017 in 2026, up 71 per cent from $4098 in 2016.
Australia's divorce rate is near its lowest since 1976, despite the worst cost of living stretch in a generation. University of Sydney research suggests housing costs are keeping people in marriages they'd otherwise leave.
Superannuation is treated as property in an Australian family law settlement and can be split. Many women are never told this.
Free financial counselling and free legal advice both exist. The National Debt Helpline is 1800 007 007. Legal Aid operates in every state and territory.
Most women are working from estimates rather than actual figures – and the real numbers are often different from what they assumed.
If there is violence in your relationship, separation is the highest-risk period and there is specific financial support available. Safety planning comes first – 1800RESPECT, 1800 737 732.
Gathering your financial information commits you to nothing. Finding out is not deciding.
How much does it cost to leave a relationship in Australia?
Anglicare Sydney costed the practical mechanics of leaving at $7017 in 2026. A decade ago the same exit cost $4098 – a rise of 71 per cent.
Their report measured the cost for people leaving family violence, but the line items apply to anyone setting up a second household:
| What it covers | What's changed since 2016 |
|---|---|
| Rental bond | Bond and rent have almost doubled |
| Three weeks' rent up front | |
| Hiring a removal truck | Fuel up around 50 per cent |
| Temporary accommodation while you find a place | |
| Childcare while you sort things out | Childcare up around 50 per cent |
And that's before the ongoing money maths start. One household becomes two. Two lots of rent or mortgage, two sets of utilities, two lots of furniture, in a rental market where forty people turn up to every inspection.
This is the part that gets left out when people ask why she doesn't go. It isn't reluctance. It's a number.
Why is Australia's divorce rate falling during a cost of living crisis?
Because a low divorce rate can mean people are content, or it can mean they can't afford the alternative – and nothing currently measures the difference.
The ABS released Australia's 2025 marriage and divorce figures in July 2026. There were 49,148 divorces granted, a 4.1 per cent rise, with the rate moving from 2.1 to 2.2 per 1000 people aged sixteen and over.
Most coverage led with "divorce rate rises". But a four per cent shift in one year is noise. The number that matters: in 2005 the rate was 3.3. Today it's 2.2 – at or near the lowest since no-fault divorce was introduced in 1976.
Consider what has happened since 2020. Rents through the roof, interest rates climbing, groceries and power and insurance up. And through all of it, fewer divorces.
Economists at the University of Sydney tested this directly. Professor Stephen Whelan and Dr Luke Hartigan used HILDA survey data to examine how housing prices affect separation, and presented their findings at the Australian Conference of Economists.
Their conclusion: higher-than-expected house price growth may be keeping people in marriages they would otherwise leave. The people most affected, they found, are women with lower education levels, lower-income households and older couples. The research is not yet peer reviewed.
One detail is worth highlighting: During the 1990s recession, financial hardship pushed divorces up. Hard times drove people apart. This time hard times are holding them together, and the difference is housing – national prices rose roughly 38 per cent in the five years to 2025.
Which leads to the point of this whole article:
Australia's divorce rate isn't measuring how many marriages are working. It's measuring how many women can afford the exit.
Where do you start if you can't afford to leave?
Start by finding out your real financial position, then use the free expert services that already exist. Neither step commits you to leaving.
Step 1 – find out what's actually there
Not what your partner/ex tells you. Not what you assume. The real figures.
Work through this list:
Your superannuation balance, and his
The mortgage balance, and anything sitting in an offset account
Savings, term deposits, shares
Credit cards and personal loans
Anything you've signed as guarantor on, including his business debts – this one catches women out badly
The last two or three years of tax returns for both of you
Recent payslips
Insurance policies
Most of this you can gather yourself. Your super fund shows your balance online in about four minutes. Your credit report is free – you're entitled to one from each credit reporting body, and it lists every debt carrying your name, including ones you may have forgotten.
In Australia, superannuation is treated as property in a family law settlement and can be split between separating couples. If you stepped back from paid work to raise children while his super kept building, that gap isn't automatically yours to absorb. I'm not a lawyer and can't tell you how it applies to your circumstances – but if nobody has mentioned it to you before, find out what it means in your situation.
Step 2 – get free expert help
These services are free in Australia, and hardly any woman I speak with has heard of the first one.
| Service | Contact | What it does |
|---|---|---|
| National Debt Helpline | 1800 007 007 | Qualified financial counsellors. Free, independent, confidential. Phone and online chat. They aren't selling anything. |
| Legal Aid | Every state and territory | Free initial family law advice in many cases |
| Women's Legal Services and community legal centres | By region | Free initial advice, often specialist family law |
You don't need to walk into a private firm and hand over several hundred dollars to find out roughly where you stand. Start with the free option and see how far it takes you.
Outside Australia? Equivalents exist in most countries under different names. Search "free financial counselling" or "legal aid" plus your country, and look for a not-for-profit or government-funded service rather than a company selling you a debt product.
Step 3 – find out what you may be entitled to
Two separate things sit here, and women routinely miss both.
The first is what you'd be entitled to in a property settlement. A free legal service can give you a rough sense of this, and it's frequently different from what a woman assumes – particularly once superannuation is on the table.
The second is government support. Services Australia has payments for people who have separated, including parenting payments and crisis payments in some circumstances. Check what applies to you rather than assuming nothing does.
What if there's violence in the relationship?
If there is, two things change – and both are important.
Safety comes before paperwork. Gathering documents, opening accounts or searching on a shared computer can be dangerous if you're being monitored. Call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732 and build a safety plan first. Use a device he can't access.
Separation is the highest-risk period. ANROWS, Australia's national research organisation for women's safety, has documented that risk rises around separation and stays elevated for months afterwards. Australian death review data covering 2010 to mid-2018 recorded 311 people killed by an intimate partner. 240 were women, and all 240 were killed by men. This is why "just leave" isn't the simple advice it sounds like – leaving needs a plan.
There is also specific money. The Leaving Violence Program provides eligible people with up to $5000 – structured as up to $1500 in cash and up to $3500 in goods and services such as bond, rent, removalists and furniture – plus safety planning, risk assessment and referrals for up to twelve weeks.
It’s important to note the gap there. When the practical cost of leaving is $7017 and the cash component of the support program is $1500, the maths doesn't close on its own. It’s worth applying anyway – it still helps – but go in knowing it's a contribution rather than your entire solution.
Does gathering this information mean I've decided to leave?
No. You can check your super balance, pull your credit report, ring a financial counsellor and read a fact sheet, and still be married on Friday.
Information commits you to nothing. You can put the lot in a folder and not open it for two years.
But you can't make a real decision about a life whose shape you can't see. Almost every woman I speak with is working from estimates – what she thinks is in the mortgage, what she assumes she'd be entitled to, what he's told her about his super. When she gets the actual figures, they're often different from what she believed. Sometimes worse. Surprisingly often better than she feared.
So if the sums at the kitchen table said no, it's worth checking whether you were using the right numbers.
Start with one thing. Log in and look at your super balance. That takes four minutes and it's a complete first step.
You're not weak for not having left yet. You're solvent. Those are different things.
Frequently asked questions
How much does it cost to separate in Australia? Anglicare Sydney costed the practical basics of leaving at $7017 in 2026 – bond, upfront rent, removalists and temporary accommodation. Ongoing costs come on top, and the largest of those is running two households instead of one.
Is superannuation split in an Australian divorce? Superannuation is treated as property under Australian family law and can be split between separating partners. How it's divided depends on your circumstances, so get advice from a family lawyer or a free legal service about your own situation.
Where can I get free financial advice during separation? The National Debt Helpline on 1800 007 007 provides free, independent, confidential financial counselling anywhere in Australia. Financial counsellors are qualified professionals and the service is not-for-profit.
What government payments can I get after separating? Services Australia offers several payments to people who have separated, including parenting payments and, in some circumstances, crisis payments. Eligibility depends on your situation – check directly rather than assuming you don't qualify.
Can I get financial help to leave a violent relationship? The Leaving Violence Program provides eligible people with up to $5000 – up to $1500 in cash and up to $3500 in goods and services – plus safety planning and referrals. Details are at leavingviolenceprogram.org.au.
What if I can't afford to leave at all? Speak to a free financial counsellor about your actual position and get free legal advice about what you may be entitled to in a settlement. Many women find their financial picture differs from what they assumed, particularly once superannuation is counted.
Listen to the full episode: I work through all of this on Divorce With Carolyn, including what Australia's divorce data really shows and why the "just leave" argument fell apart this month. Listen here.
If you're facing a property settlement, my free guide 5 Financial Mistakes Women Make in Divorce – and what to do instead covers the traps that cost women most. Settlements are binding, and in most cases once you've signed there's no going back. Download it here.
Support
In an emergency, call 000 (Australia), 111 (NZ), 999 (UK), 911 (US and Canada) or 112 (Europe and many other countries from a mobile).
1800RESPECT – 1800 737 732, 24 hours, Australia
13YARN – 13 92 76, for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people
Women's Refuge NZ – 0800 733 843
National Domestic Abuse Helpline UK – 0808 2000 247
Women's Aid Ireland – 1800 341 900
National Domestic Violence Hotline US and Canada – 1-800-799-7233
MensLine Australia – 1300 78 99 78, for men experiencing family violence
Anywhere else – findahelpline.com
