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What to say to your kids right now – words that can help at every age and stage
If your family is changing and you're lying awake wondering how to explain it to your children, this guide gives you the words – gentle, honest and age-appropriate – for when you don't know where to start.
Right now you might be:
Rehearsing the conversation in your head and still not knowing how to begin
Worried you'll say the wrong thing and make it harder for them
Fielding questions you don't feel ready for – "why?", "whose fault is it?", "are you getting back together?"
Watching your child act out, go quiet or cling, and not knowing what they need
Trying to protect them and be honest at the same time – on very little sleep
How you talk to your children through this season matters. Not because there's a perfect script – there isn't – but because the words you find right now are the ones that help them feel safe while everything else shifts.
Children remember how they were spoken to far more than exactly what was said. Warmth, honesty and reassurance do more than any flawless explanation.
The mothers I work with aren't getting this wrong. They're exhausted and heartbroken and desperate to protect their kids – doing their best in a situation no one prepares you for.
That's exactly why I created this guide.
Pop your details in below for instant access to the free guide — real words that help at every age and stage, from toddlers to teens.
What many women don’t realise is this:
Whatever their age, children need to hear three things: this isn't their fault, both parents still love them, and they're going to be okay.
When you lead with those three truths – and shape the rest around where your child is developmentally – almost everything else gets easier.
What to say to under-fives, who need reassurance and routine more than reasons
How to handle the big questions from 5 to 12 year olds – fault, blame, and "will you get back together?
How to talk to teenagers honestly, without burdening them with adult detail
Real words for the hard moments – handovers, refusing to visit the other parent, and "are you okay?"
What tends to help at every age – and how to repair it when you get it wrong
This isn't generic advice.
It's drawn from a decade of interviewing child development experts, from years of walking beside mothers through exactly these conversations, and from over 20 years of parenting my own children through divorce and beyond.
Hi, I’m Carolyn.
Before I founded Women's Divorce Academy, I spent a decade as a parenting journalist, interviewing dozens of child development and family experts for publications including The Guardian, news.com.au, Practical Parenting, Kidspot, Channel 9 and The Age.
Since then I've supported hundreds of mothers through separation. I'm also a mum of three and a stepmum of two, with my own complex co-parenting life – so I've heard these conversations from both sides: the expert research, and the real, messy, 2am version.
There's no perfect script. But there are words that help. That's what this guide is.
And it's why it's free.